Barry Petchesky

Donald Trump has a hang-up about Pluto. As far back as 2019, his appointed NASA administrator was making noise about reclassifying it as a planet, a status it lost when in 2006 the International Astronomical Union created a new system of nomenclature for all those weird and wacky bodies hurtling around the sun. Pluto, long a staple of the Big Nine and a famous childhood acrostic, was now a "mere" dwarf planet.

There is an understandable tendency to make Oilers losses about the Oilers rather than about the team that beat them. After being eliminated by the Anaheim Ducks in Game 6 on Thursday, Connor McDavid put a damper on the rhetorical appeal of that angle by summing up Edmonton's season so succinctly and so accurately that there's not really much to be said beyond it: "When you're an average team with high expectations,"

In a hypothetical where one person could be an entire group of guys, and in this hypothetical I were the collective and entire Tampa Bay Lightning, after that Game 7 I would order the team bus to be driven to the Sunshine Skyway Bridge—there are closer bridges to the arena in the Tampa Bay area, but none higher—and, at mid-span, drive directly off it.

I suppose that if I were to complain about how NASA is making available the bulk of the photography captured by Artemis astronauts, NASA would tell me to go to the Moon and get my own pics, if I think I could do it better. But the fact remains that they're just

At the NHL Draft lottery drawing, some of the league's most woeful, benighted, talent-free franchises came together to find out they'll be drafting third and later. Moving up to take the second pick in a draft class with a consensus top 2 are the San Jose Sharks, who will make their third top-2 selection in three years. And selecting first in the Gavin McKenna Sweepstakes will be the damn Toronto Maple Leafs. If the little men skating around inside your television is a TV show above all else—and it is—this is probably the most entertaining outcome we could have gotten.

Outfielders have a lot of time on their hands to be alone with their thoughts. The San Francisco Giants don't win a lot of baseball games. Put those two things together and you get magic. Erotic magic.

Brett Kulak. Brett f'n Kulak. The stay-at-home defenseman, who scored one goal all season long. Who's scored just 29 goals in 12 years in the NHL.

In a move that could shake up the entire league, Pittsburgh and Boston have agreed on a deadline deal: Frankie for Little Joe, straight up. From insider Apedam Schefter:

Tom Dundon readily admits his parsimony. I guess no one ever got turbo-rich by being profligate, but few billionaires brag so much about how they pick up pennies from the ground or turn off unused room lights. He claims he does not display this behavior when it comes to putting the sports teams he owns…

The Colorado Avalanche are not an easy team to root for. They are a deep, übercapable team with few weaknesses. Their star scorer is a weirdo but not in a particularly endearing way. They have their Cup already. In any other year, in any other matchup, I’d be pulling for someone else to have their…