Nicky Smokes

No denying it was a cheap shot on the way down but who gives a fuck? This is playoff hockey. Everyone and their mother was fighting on the ice. It looked like I was watching the Royal Rumble. Boo Hooo...

As someone who loves both Post Malone and Morgan Wallen, this song did not deliver. I've been waiting for this song to drop for months. This was supposed to be the song of the summer, not the song of ...

The fun police strike once more! I mean, what else would you expect from a 24-year-old from South Florida? What else would you expect me to do? I've been buying bottles since I was 15 years old. It's not a flex; I wish things could be different, but growing up where I did, it's just a way of life. Whether it was someone's birthday, a new job, or getting out of a toxic relationship, we were always popping bottles; that's just the way it is back home. Trust me, I'd love to sit on my couch all day, read a book, work out, and eat healthily on the weekends, but I can't. I am who I am, for better or for worse. Maybe one day I'll knock a girl up and start a family and become a contributing member of society, but now is not that time.

I don't give a fuck if he punched Marchand in the face on purpose or not. I'm glad that the team from South Florida doesn't look like a bunch of soft pussies. My whole life, anytime my teams went up north, especially in football, we turn into a bunch of baby back bitches. It's feels good to be the bully for once. You can say what you want, but this is great for hockey. Every time I tune into this series, it feels like I'm watching UFC on ice. These two teams utterly despise each other. You know it's a good series when you can't switch the channel because you might miss something in a 6-1 game.

I don't even know what to say anymore. The NFL is so pussy it makes me sick. Ever since Josh Allen has been drafted he's been my abusive step father. Every time this fucking prick plays my team he bea...

The man, the myth, the legend. Ben Mintz, boy I tell you they don't make em like this anymore. Some would say that's a good thing, but I'd argue otherwise. Could you imagine how peaceful the world would be if everyone's brain had the same programming as Mintzy? We'd be lost in the sauce, dancing to whatever fucking music he listens to, stuffing our face with crawfish, and having absolutely zero common sense, but at least we'd all have big hearts.

"Type shit" at 10 years old is fucking wild. I'll be the first to admit this kid sounds exactly like me, but at least I have 10 years of boozing and raging my face to explain the lack of brain cells. This kid has no excuse. I was scared to curse around my mom when I was 10 let alone ask Mike Tyson and Jake Paul about their body count. I didn't even know what a body count was when I was 10. Even if he's 11 or 12 he should be worrying about his first kiss, not other people body counts. That being said, this kid is a fucking legend. He knew what he was doing, he even paid homage to the OG "we outside" kid from New York.

I really want to use another word to describe myself but I can't. I'm a fucking idiot. What have I done? The number one rule to a receding hairline is to cover it up at all cost and I let Jersey fucking Jerry, a former crack head, shave my fucking head. Why didn't I come up with this idea in December? Everyone's walking around in snow caps, no one is gonna see my McDonald's happy meal golden arch ri ri ass hairline. But no, my dumb ass does it the first week of summer! Great call Smokes! You stupid fucking meat head piece of shit. What are you gonna tell your roster now? The second you take your hat off they're all going to quit the team. You're gonna have to glue that hat on your head and never take it off. You're gonna have to buy a brimless hat just to go to sleep at night, you stupid fuck.

This shit was lazier than my around the office blogs. I still have no idea what I just watched. What the fuck is the point of this stupid ass video? If you're going to be this lazy just make a graphic...

No need for a bullshit introduction paragraph. The title tells you everything you need to know.