Trish Bendix

“Mayor should not be your first job,” the host said of the former reality show star and mayoral candidate Spencer Pratt, who is polling in second place.

“Instead of music, the entertainment will be an 80-year-old man yelling about windmills,” Jimmy Kimmel said after President Trump said he would headline a summer concert series.

“Oh, I’m sorry, is wrapping up the war you started not interesting enough?” Michael Kosta said on Tuesday, after the president called negotiations with Iran “boring.”

The late night host called Trump “the first sitting president to shut down a major United States city so he could take a nap in front of a sold-out crowd at the N.B.A. finals.”

Jimmy Fallon called the president “the only 80-year-old yelling, ‘Get on my lawn!’”

“Of course it’s the Knicks, so they won’t really show up until the second half,” the host Jimmy Fallon said.

President Trump “promised he would drain the swamp,” Jimmy Kimmel said. “Instead, he spent 14 million of our dollars building a new one.”

Although the agreement finally reopens the Strait of Hormuz, “we threw in a minimum of $300 billion,” Kimmel said. “Right now, Melania’s wondering, ‘How do I get a deal like that?’”

Jimmy Fallon poked fun at the name of the business under fire for turning the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool bright green: “Nailed it.”

“Hey, kids, remember you wanted to go to Disneyland? Instead, we’re going to go see the world’s largest kombucha!” Johnson said of the pool renovation as a tourist stop.