Ally Ross

JUST at the point when I thought I’d run out of loathing for Big Brother, up popped housemate Segun to try to explain why he was still a virgin at the age of 25. “No sex before marriage, innit,” he…

AS everyone has already noticed, but hardly anyone has dared to say, there is a very obvious issue with Rivals’ show-jumping anti-hero Rupert Campbell-Black, who is, allegedly “the handsomest man i…

A WOKE zombie drama is such an obviously terrible idea it guarantees two things immediately. 1) If you do make such a show, it will just turn into a gorier version of EastEnders, with a slightly hi…

OF all the great foghorning nuisances who’ve built their television part these past few years, there’s surely none more annoying than the cocky, over-familiar continuity announcer. Time was, these …

SOME advice for the BBC team choosing the new Match Of The Day presenter and their team. Take a good look at Football Focus and then do the exact opposite. I promise them, if they go in the polar o…

I’M A Celebrity’s most tiresome fools don’t waste any time on that show. They reveal themselves and all their phobias before the first ad break has even arrived. Oti Mabuse, for instance, couldn’t …

CALL me a wide-eyed optimist, if you like, but when a second female impersonator joined EastEnders this month, I thought: “Surely to God, we’ve reached peak drag queen and the BBC can find another …

BOUNDING around Australia at this very moment are a pair of kangaroo testicles with the name “Jacob Rees-Mogg” written all over them. You know it, I know it, the poor kangaroo probably knows it. Ev…

THE Reverend Richard Coles was up to his arse in fish guts and spiders during the last Bushtucker Trial of I’m A Celebrity, when Dec asked him: “What do you want to drink tonight?” But he didn’t mi…

KNUCKLE-CHEWING mortification is almost guaranteed every December at BBC1’s Sports Personality Of The Year. Even more so on Tuesday, when Alex Scott announced “the Strictly Come Dancing judges will…