Andrew Klavan

There was so much news this week, I feel I should begin by just giving you the headlines as reported by the elite news media. This week’s top story comes from the New York Times, a former newspaper, with the headline: “Donald Trump Nearly Gets Himself Assassinated Again.” “Donald Trump’s rhetoric continued to inflame violence ...

In the wake of two attempts on Donald Trump's life, government officials are hard at work trying to determine why so many assassins are trying to kill a man government officials want dead. In their fearless pursuit of the truth, the Justice Department this week released a letter from the latest would-be killer in which the gunman offered $150,000 to anyone who would finish Trump off.

After watching the news media's coverage of this year's presidential election, some people are saying that America's journalists are wholly unqualified to report the news and should find more suitable employment, like cleaning the port-a-sans on those construction sites with very low sanitation standards until even the managers of these disgusting venues can no longer tolerate the steaming piles of unmitigated crap these journalists produce and not only fire them, but leave such scorching denunciations of their work on social media that they become unemployable and wind up wandering the deserted streets of some crumbling Democrat-run urban hellhole until, at last unable to tolerate the shame of being an American journalist, they hurl themselves into the nearest river where a crowd of the very audience they lied to gathers to watch them struggling against the tide and murmurs to one another, “Hey, isn't that that sneering girly man who fact-checked Donald Trump's facts with falsehoods during the last debate,” and other similar remarks that ultimately raise their level of righteous indignation to the point where they start hurling rotten vegetables at these former so-called journalists so that they not only float out to sea forever, but float out to sea covered in decaying lettuce and onions and good riddance, now maybe these stinkers will learn to tell the truth once in a while.

As some of you know, my exciting new thriller novel was published this week. And I've been trying to figure out how to convince you to buy a novel I know you'll love. So I finally decided to consult with my friends in the Kamala Harris/Tim Walz presidential campaign. And they've given me some tips on how to sell you this great and innovative mystery story.

Well, America — or whoever the hell I’m talking to — the day of decision is rapidly drawing near, so it’s time we set partisanship aside and took a clear-eyed, objective look at our choices. Are we going to give our vote to an orange-colored demagogue whose reckless rhetoric reveals a tyrannical disregard for American ...

As I told you many months ago, this presidential election is a face-off between men and women. Donald Trump has an 8% lead with male voters because men believe Trump will restore our tattered economy, and draw us out of endless wars that threaten to expand into a world-wide conflagration. Conversely, Kamala Harris has a ...

You know, I’m delighted Donald Trump won the election and all, but I’m very disappointed in those of you who are taking a cruel pleasure in watching journalists and other Democrats suffering in their defeat with the rude and crushing realization that their status as elites was an illusion that hid not only their incompetence ...

There was an interesting article in the San Francisco Chronicle this week that you might have missed if you were doing something more important than reading the San Francisco Chronicle like squeezing the pimple between your eyes until blood and pus poured down the front of your face and you spent the rest of the ...

Now that our government is being run by a faceless, unelected cabal of credentialed socialist elites who are so intellectually brilliant they have passed beyond the golden realm of genius into an ethereal dumpster of complete stupidity, there is not much left for our dementia-riddled president to do except lie in his lawn chair, eat ...

Well, my friends, this is my final post before Christmas break. So as we approach this holiest of holy days, I would like to set all the political animosity aside, and reach out in love and charity to all people made in the image of God, and also to Democrats, and deliver a seasonal message ...