Elinor Jones

Hi, Trash Pandas , and welcome to another Trash Report! I'm really happy you're here. You know this season of Love is Blind is bad when I'm working on my column before I'm fully caught up on the episodes.

Make it Stop As this election plummets to its final resting place, Kamala Harris has collected endorsements from such luminaries as Cardi B, Bad Bunny, Eminem, Jennifer Lopez, Harrison Ford , and most of the Avengers.

Elections Trash Well my friends, I guess we didn't coconut hard enough, because Donald Trump is headed back to the White House.

January 8 I hate to break it to us, but despite anyone's resolutions, this is probably not going to be a year when anybody becomes better.

But that's a later problem. This week is for giving thanks. I am thankful for—you guessed it— trash Mandate Deez Nuts

Pardonnez moi? President Biden kept up with the freak tradition of pardoning two turkeys ahead of the Thanksgiving holiday.

News!!!!?????? This last week was kind of a big one in the news? I write this as a question because I can hardly believe it and it seems portentous?

[Our Elinor Jones is taking a well-deserved trash-free vacation this week, so please enjoy this CLASSIC edition of The Trash Report from May 22, 2023!—eds.] Hello, my sweet baby Trash Pandas! If nobody has told you yet today, you are a darling goblin whose mere existence dramatically increases global average human sexiness by several points, and I cherish you. Welcome to my column, The Trash Report, where I will try (and probably fail) to deserve...

Excellence (and Not) Among Former Presidents On Friday Trump posted the following to Truth Social : "Where are you?

Cool People with Tacky Necklaces President Biden hosted a little get-together to give out Congressional Medals of Freedom to a bunch of