Elinor Jones

National Trash Trump was caught dozing in a cabinet meeting last week. This is irritating to me because I don't want anyone to think that

Hello, Trash Pandas! It's me, Elinor Jones, with a special end-of-the-year Trash Report. This year certainly was something, wasn't it?

President Biden hosted a little get-together to give out Congressional Medals of Freedom to a bunch of fancy people like Bono Jane Goodall Magic

The People's Columns In his ongoing rampage to remake the country in his own image (i.e. ugly, tacky, nobody likes it, etc.) Trump has been

The Trash Report Archives

Hello, trash panda baby angels, and welcome to another Trash Report. I am Elinor Jones, back from Spring Break vacation and ready to make “person who has been to Japan” into my entire personality. But as much as I enjoyed being away, I have also enjoyed diving back into everything that I missed and immediately […]

Hello, and welcome to another Trash Report ! I'm Elinor Jones and it's so nice to see all of you with what limited vision I have remaining after

The Trashional Anthem This first part doesn't have anything to do with music, but I have to talk about it: Trump had yet another attempt on

National Trash This headline: “ Kash Patel did ‘VIP Snorkel' at Pearl Harbor .” At first read I understood this to mean that FBI Director

Hello, and welcome to another Trash Report ! I'm your girl, Elinor Jones . You'll notice that this edition is exceptionally queer, and that is because it will appear in our upcoming printed Queer Issue.