Kymberly Foster Seabolt

I knew we weren’t cut out for drama when the most exciting thing that happened on a recent weekend was that the sofa ate the television remote. I can’t prove it, but the clues are clear.

GirlWonder looks back at her childhood home. (Kym Seabolt photo)

I am not a patient person. I like things to work as they should, when they should. There is no more certain sign that I will not survive an apocalypse than the absolute meltdown I feel when my smart light bulbs go offline and I have to turn the lights off BY HAND.

Kymberly Seabolt is into fall cleaning more than spring cleaning. (Submitted photo)

In a few months we will be saying that 2000 was 25 years ago. To be fair it DOES feel like the covid year of 2020 was 25 years ago. My brain is straight up denying the math. This cannot be true. We still don’t have flying cars. I think I have lost track of how time works.

I have had the same “best friend” since I was 9 years old (that was in the 1970s by the way). I’m so grateful for her. We’ve literally grown up together. She’s my rock. She knows things. Nothing illegal but let’s just say either one of us could probably prevent the other from running for political office — if we were so inclined. I’m blessed with both a wonderful family and wonderful friendships. I take neither for granted. I honestly do not think I would be who I am today as a spouse or parent without my many wonderful friends.

I called it! Twenty-two years ago, I wrote a column about the impending demise of Kmart. Clearly, I was ahead of my time.

As we approach the season of holiday eating, people who can and cannot cook are sure to be strongly divided. This is important so the wrong sector isn’t given crucial holiday food assignments.

Obviously, I’m an adult, but like, not ON PURPOSE. I didn’t realize how little I understood the time change until I attempted to explain the science behind it to a very bossy, small dog. I assure you that Nova Grace does not care what the government thinks, she knows what time breakfast is. Setting the time back an hour does not change the settings on her stomach.

Last week was my birthday. I don’t sweat it. I’ve said for years that every birthday I celebrate is one that was denied to some of my peers. Anyone who has lived this long knows people forever frozen in childhood, teenage or young adult years. I’ll take aging and all that comes along with it, thank you very much.