Mark Hill

Over the last few weeks, Carver has seen her lights flicker, her oven randomly preheat, and her air fresheners run dry at an unusual pace, but has yet to witness anything badass.

AIRDRIE – Airdrie's annual Harvest Festival is clearly just the town's annual Summer Carnival with some scarecrows and hay bales thrown in, according to underwhelmed sources.

Let it never be said that sequelitis is a modern problem. Just two years after Georges Méliès had a hit on his hands with A Trip to the Moon, the French director sent another group of whimsical adventurers to the sun in 1904’s The Impossible Voyage.

Abstract Early cancer detection has the potential to significantly improve treatment outcomes and survival rates.

“This election will have wide-ranging ramifications on everything from the displays at the state fair to the quality of North Carolina's pecans,” said a senior

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Featuring dogged journalists and warrior nuns alike, these acclaimed series can be knocked out in a weekend.

TORONTO – As shopping malls and grocery stores switch to Christmas music and eager neighbours begin putting up decorations, local accountant Thomas Muncy has told reporters that he's ejaculating even earlier than usual this year.

As Marvel brings back Robert Downey Jr. and Star Wars refuses to step beyond the long shadows of the Skywalker family, major franchises are more prone than ever to mistaking Easter eggs and callbacks for plotting. This is confusing to anyone outside the hardcore fandom; Ahsoka was rather dull to those who hadn’t watched the old cartoon preceding it, and the pauses Deadpool & Wolverine built in so theater-goers could gasp at the brief cameos of characters last seen decades ago feel silly when you’re watching at home.

“Jimmy's has long had some of the best seafood in town, but their new and improved LILF tank puts them in a whole new category,” said one reporter. “I recommend starting with the Caesar salad, having the medium-rare