Richard Littlejohn

Plan A was to write about the boy in Scotland who has been allowed to identify as a wolf. But just when you thought it couldn't get more bonkers, along came the gender-fluid dachshund in a dress.

Well, there's one win bonus I didn't expect when I gave up my Spurs season tickets after 35 years: I won't have to worry about bumping into Keir Starmer in the queue for the Gents at half-time.

Who wants to be a ­millionaire? Most of us, obviously. But today it's easier than ever. You used to have to win the football pools, or the National Lottery, or present Match Of The Day.

When I read a report, this week claiming that there are 745,000 illegal immigrants living in Britain, my immediate reaction was: Is that all?

0f all the revelations about Labour's free-loading, free frocks, free glasses, free tickets, free holidays, etc, one story jumped out at me.

A former prosecutor turned politician, vacuous and unprincipled, incapable of giving a straight answer and anxious to cover up a far-Left past. Sound familiar?

The war on motorists has turned ugly, with increasing numbers of drivers fighting back. Literally.

Remember, remember the Fifth of November. Gunpowder, treason and plot. Make the most of it, because Guy Fawkes Night, as we used to call it, is well on the way to being cancelled.

Win or lose, Donald Trump has at least Made America Laugh Again. This week he turned up at a rally in Wisconsin in a garbage truck, wearing a hi-viz vest and sending his audience into hysterics.

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Every picture tells a story, according to Rod Stewart. So what are we to make of these two snapshots of our new Socialist overlords?