Ben Friedman

Over the past week, Ukrainian forces have established a 1,000-square-kilometre bulge in Russia’s Kursk region. An additional thrust to the south, in the Belgorod region, is also underway. Ukraine‘s foreign ministry says it aims to create a buffer zone to prevent missile attacks, but other objectives seem paramount: to draw Russian forces from the front [...]Read More...

Local man Greg Johannssen claims it’s too early in the year for Starbucks to release pumpkin spice flavored drinks despite the fact his refrigerator is already fully stocked with Oktoberfest beers.

I want to make it perfectly clear that just because you passed a safety course doesn’t mean you know how to operate heavy machinery like it’s your last day on Earth.

You’ll be hard-pressed to find a worse man-made blight on this planet than private equity firms. All they are good for is making obscenely wealthy…

A troubling economic report revealed that 48% of this year’s projected Burning Man attendees don’t have enough of their parents' money saved up to actually go.

Supermarket chain Stop & Shop announced that their stores would no longer sell cigarettes due to poor sales from the vast decline of cool teenagers across the region.

40-year-old Luke Childers grew increasingly despondent as his birthday party came to a close, realizing for the third decade in a row that he would not be receiving a pair of Nickelodeon Moon Shoes, family members have confirmed.

Up-and-coming country music singer Johnny “Slim” Wilkins saw his dreams of stardom crushed after finding out he was being replaced by an AI songwriter capable of creating bootlicking ballads ten times faster, industry insiders have confirmed.

Democratic Vice President hopeful Tim Walz found himself in the middle of a barrage of criticism after it was revealed he allegedly inflated his score during a game of bag toss at a family barbeque in 1998.

Local police officer Brad Jenkins vocally expressed concern that illegal immigrants were in town eating all of the neighborhood dogs he was already planning on shooting.